HEY KAT, THANKS FOR DOING THIS INTERVIEW. SORRY AGAIN FOR MISSING YOUR BIRTHDAY-HALLOWEEN BASH. WHAT WERE YOU THIS YEAR FOR HALLOWEEN?

Oh, you mean what kind of slut was I dressed as? I was a slutty, brunette Marie Antoinette -- which seems redundant, since wasn’t she the sluttiest of all royalty? I hear she gave good head. Ouch, that was a terrible joke.

YOU ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO SLIDE IN A GOOD HEAD JOKE.

Way to start off this interview painting me as a whore. Thanks, Mike.

THE BRUSH IS IN YOUR HAND, AND YOU'RE WELCOME. NOW THAT WE'RE ALL WARMED UP, TELL US WHERE YOU'RE FROM AND WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

I grew up in Manhattan and moved to the South Jersey Shore for my high school years. I eventually escaped the Guidos and moved to Chicago to attend Northwestern University where I was an overachiever with a bunch of majors, minors, activities, jobs and graduating almost a year early.

WHAT BROUGHT YOU TO LOS ANGELES?

I had been acting since I was a little girl and studied theatre at Northwestern, so had lofty plans to be the next Julia Roberts (but would have settled for Marissa Tomei). Frankly, I think I just wanted to bag Jack Nicholson.

DESCRIBE THE MOMENT YOU WANTED TO GET INTO THE FILM BUSINESS?

I’m not sure I have had that moment yet, have you?

YEAH, IT WAS WHEN I WATCHED CHAPLIN'S CITY LIGHTS ON VHS AT THE AGE OF SIX. THAT EXPERIENCE WAS LIFE-CHANGING AND I KNEW THEN THAT I WANTED TO USE FILM AS MY FORM OF STORY-TELLING.

I had been teetering between acting in theatre in NY and film in LA. Through a summer internship at a regional theatre in Connecticut, I realized the stamina of doing the same show over and over again, hundreds of times was not for me and so followed that up with an internship at the old William Morris. I fell in love with the film business (not realizing it had nothing to do with acting in it) and that’s when I decided I had to move to LA immediately. I went back to school for 2 months, finished my credits and was back in LA by December of my senior year of college. Trust me when I say that my friends were very jealous when they were under two feet of blistering cold snow and I was in a bikini, reading scripts by my apartment complex pool.

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE FILMS?

My favorite film of all time is WHEN HARRY MET SALLY. I’ve watched that hundreds of times and it has meant something different to me at every turn of life. I’m also a big Woody Allen buff, so love ANNIE HALL (I know, so cliché), MANHATTAN MUDER MYSTERY and MATCH POINT. Through working at Tapestry Films, I’ve become a huge fan of both WEDDING CRASHERS and POINT BREAK (RIP Bodhi) and consider BACK TO THE FUTURE to be the most perfect film ever made.

WHY DID YOU MAKE THAT CAREER TRANSITION FROM ACTRESS TO DEVELOPMENT EXECUTIVE?

It was really by accident and/or coercion. While I was pursuing acting, when I first got out here and was 21, I started getting kind of bored in my day-to-day life (there are only so many trips to Bed Bath and Beyond I could make). Since I had enjoyed interning at William Morris, I decided to start temping at industry companies. I told my temp agent (since I didn’t have a theatrical agent) that I did not want any permanent gigs. The next thing I know, I’m filing at MBST Entertainment (they rep Billy Crystal, Robin Williams, Woody Allen, etc…) and they offer me a full-time receptionist job. I turn it down, they beg, I finally take it, since they agreed to let me go on my many auditions (I think I had 2). I started scouting for the company (they signed a comedian I found) and eventually was temporarily hired to assist one of the partners who was in preproduction on a film. I fell in love with what he was doing and the process of finding new ideas and thought that if I loved something else besides acting, I should give it a try. Turns out I was right. I think. And I was hungry. My first order of business when deciding to leave acting for development was eating a bagel. True story.

WHAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING ABOUT BEING A PROFESSIONAL FEMALE IN HOLLYWOOD?

Besides all the men and women I’ve had to sleep with to get where I am today? Oh, right, let’s not talk about that.

YOUR SECRET IS SAFE WITH ME. NO ONE IS GOING TO READ THIS ANYWAYS.

Haha… just kidding. (wink)

I think the hardest part of the business is learning how not to blur the lines between business and pleasure. There are a lot of guys who think development meetings are blind dates and try to use their power to get some, so it can be tricky figuring out who to go out with and when and how to get out of sticky situations when they arise. I’ve gotten much better at that as I’ve gotten older. God I’m old.

DESCRIBE WHAT A DIRECTOR OF DEVELOPMENT DOES FOR A PRODUCTION COMPANY?

Pretty much anything anyone needs from me. I’m the company bitch (except I don’t get coffee. I’m way too important for that). I read scripts for my bosses, get submissions from agents and managers, develop original ideas with writers, look for books, articles, graphic novels and other IPs to adapt, create writer, actor and director lists for current projects, tie my bosses shoes, chew their food before they swallow… Last year, I had the opportunity to co-produce my first film (VAN WILDER: FRESHMAN YEAR). It was direct to DVD, but what were YOU doing when you were 26, huh? For that I came up with the concept, found the writer, developed the idea with him, hired a director, cast the actors, sat next to the director everyday we shot the film and for most of post-production and worked with the studio on our marketing plan. I also directed some of the second unit and wrote, directed, produced and acted in a featurette for the Bonus Features. For all that work, I got a stack of DVD’s, 15 extra pounds due to craft services and a t-shirt.

HOW MANY SCRIPTS A WEEK DO YOU READ?

I probably read about 10 scripts per week, but when I first became an executive it was closer to 20. Now I have a slave, I mean assistant, for the rest of them.

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GOOD SCRIPT?

There is not one definable thing about a good script, other than it being a good story with good characters. Sometimes I am shocked by what I like and also by what I don’t like. If you make me laugh, you are in the minority.

WHAT SCRIPTS HAVE YOU READ RECENTLY THAT REALLY IMPRESSED YOU AND MADE YOU TAKE NOTICE OF THE WRITER?

I probably shouldn’t say in print which child I love more. Makes it harder for me to lie to my writers when I say their script was the best thing I’ve read in a while. I mean, Mike, your script is the best thing I’ve read in years. I mean ever!

THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU, KAT, YOUR GOOD TASTE. MOST PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD ARE TOO BUSY READING SCRITPS TO PICK UP A NOVEL. HOW ABOUT YOU? WHAT WAS THE LAST NOVEL YOU READ?

I’ve made a big push to read more novels, other than the ones I have to read for work. I’m currently breaking open the new Dan Brown—

REALLY? I JUST FINISHED THE LOST SYMBOL. IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN PEOPLE ARE SAYING. HE'S NO JOYCE, BUT I THINK BROWN WRITES HIS PROSE VERY CINEMATICALLY - MORE CINEMATICALLY THAN A LOT OF SCREENWRITERS WRITE THEIR SCRIPTS.

Tru dat. Before that I had recently finished BLINK by Malcolm Gladwell and MY HORIZONTAL LIFE by Chelsea Handler. I love her, can someone find a way for me to meet her?

YOU KNOW, TYRESE WAS ON HER SHOW A FEW MONTHS BACK PROMOTING TRANSFORMERS 2 AND OUR COMIC BOOK MAYHEM. PERHAPS I COULD PUT IN A CALL FOR YOU?

Okay, you know I wasn’t kidding, right?

I'LL PUT MY ASSISTANT ON IT RIGHT AWAY. OKAY, SO... WHAT IS THE MOST COMMON MISTAKE THAT BEGINNING WRITERS MAKE IN THEIR SCRIPTS?

Oh god, do we have time for this? There are so many things I see that scream amateur. One of the things that is a huge pet peeve and a real sign that the writer is either really new or really lazy is over-writing. I don’t need a ton of description. Get your point across quickly. If you think teenagers have attention issues, you should get to know a development executive. I love 95 page scripts. Oh, and shitty formatting is a big no-no.

YOUR JOB REQUIRES YOU TO SIT THROUGH MANY PITCHES FROM WRITERS. WITHOUT USING NAMES (UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO), CAN YOU TELL US SOME PITCHING HORROR STORIES?

This story actually comes from the first prick, I mean writer, who pitched me. I got promoted at the plucky age of 24 and so was younger than most decision makers in the business. My older colleague brought me into my first pitch and the writer was about 40 or so. The topic of schools was broached and the writer asked me what year I graduated from my fancy NYC private school. I begrudgingly told him the year, he did the math and responds: “Aren’t you too young to be in this room?” I quickly passed on his project and bought glasses to look older. For those of you reading, I’m wearing glasses right this second because of that douchebag. The moral of the story is that brown nosing is always a plus in pitch meetings… especially if I’m in it.

WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BREAK INTO HOLLYWOOD, WHETHER IT BE ACTING, WRITING, PRODUCING, ETC.?

Each of those professions has such different paths, but if there was one bit of advice I could give, I would suggest finding someone who you greatly admire and really research them. Figure out what they did in the very early stages of their career: Were they an assistant? Did they write greeting cards? Did they go to grad school? Then do your best to figure out how to model your career after them. Please don’t choose someone who had a meteoric rise or was randomly discovered. That’s not the norm and probably (I mean definitely) won’t happen to you. Find someone who worked really fucking hard. That’s what it takes. Or just marry that person.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO FRUSTRATED WITH HOLLYWOOD THAT IT BROUGHT YOU CLOSE TO GIVING UP WITH THOUGHTS OF LEAVING TOWN? IF SO, WHAT KEPT YOU HERE?

Oy, I’ve threatened to move back to NY so many times, I can’t even count anymore. But what it really comes down to is I don’t have any clue what the hell else I would do, nor am I really sure I am qualified to do anything else. The film business is an addiction and if you don’t have it, don’t be in it. There is very little money, a lot of heartbreak and very little opportunity for success. I clearly hate myself. Wanna come work for me?

THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE A SLAVE TO TAKE OUT YOUR SELF-LOATHING ON. THAT'S WHAT ASSISTANTS ARE FOR. BY THE WAY, I KNOW YOU'VE ATTENDED THE SANTA FE SCREENWRITING CONFERENCE AS AN INDUSTRY PROFESSIONAL. HAVE YOU BEEN INVOLVED WITH OTHER PROGRAMS LIKE THIS? AND WHY DO YOU GO TO THEM?

I have done a handful of screenwriting conferences, pitchfests, contests, panels, etc… I think it’s important to reach aspiring writers and help them learn what executives really want. I want to help them, but it’s also partially selfish, as I’d rather not get as much crap. I also like free food.

YOU WRITE A VERY WITTY AND FUNNY BLOG CALLED A KAT’S TALE.

Thanks, Mike! How much do I owe you for that plug?

YOUR TAB IS RUNNING. WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO BLOG?

It started as a travel blog when I went to Spain by myself this summer. It seemed like an easier way to keep my very over-protective and paranoid mother informed that I was still alive and not kidnapped, rather than having to call her every few hours. When I got back, I received some great feedback and found that the life of a d-girl is something people find interesting; whether it’s the way I tear apart movies (that I both love and hate) or the bizarre stories of my life. I also like listening to the sound of my own voice, which I found has translated to the written page.

RECENTLY, HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS AND PRODUCTION COMPANIES ARE INSERTING CLAUSES INTO THEIR EXECUTIVE CONTRACTS FORBIDDING THEIR EMPLOYEES FROM HAVING TWITTER ACCOUNTS, FACEBOOK PROFILES, AND EVEN BLOGGING. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS?

I freaking love Twitter and don’t you try to take my Twitter away from me! However, I completely understand why they are doing this. Sometimes people forget that when they are writing on social networking sites that dozens, if not hundreds, thousands or millions of people are reading it. It can be very easy to slip with very tight information that studios feel the need to control. No one wants a movie to be shut down because of a drunk tweet. That’s just dumb.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHY THE HELL DID YOU DELETE YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE?

Oh jesus, are we still talking about this a year later, Mike? If you want to know what’s going on with me, give me a call, let’s grab dinner. Oh wait, you do owe me dinner, don’t you?

YEAH, I DO OWE YOU, BUT DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT. DELETING YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE IS SUCH A DRAMATIC GESTURE - LIKE A SPY "GOING DARK" OR A NARC DISAPPEARING UNDERCOVER. IT'S YOUR 'FUCK YOU' TO THE WORLD. ANYWAYS, I'LL DROP IT IF YOU WANT ME TO. OKAY, WE WERE BOTH BUSY AT THIS YEAR'S COMIC-CON - SO BUSY THAT THE ONLY TIME I SAW YOU WAS AT THE ONI PRESS BOOTH RIGHT BEFORE YOUR MEETING WITH THEM. HOW WAS THIS YEAR'S CON COMPARED TO THE PREVIOUS YEAR, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

You’re an asshole.

I AM AN ASSHOLE, BUT YET SO HUGGABLE AT THE SAME TIME. AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT ARI EMMANUEL ONCE TOLD ME.

Yeah, I heard you were the inspiration for Lloyd on ENTOURAGE. “You’re finally a real Asian!”

SO WHY DID YOU GIVE UP DRINKING?

Because I’d like to remember Comic-con.

I HAVE TO ADMIT, KAT, I BARELY RECOGNIZED YOU THE LAST TIME BECAUSE YOU WERE SOBER.

Did I mention you’re an asshole?

I LOVE YOU TOO. FINAL QUESTION, WHAT STILL SURPRISES YOU ABOUT HOLLYWOOD?

That I continually meet new people in the business that I genuinely like, am inspired by and make my life better. Hollywood gets a really bad name from a handful of really bad people, but it’s not hard to find the good people and when you do, you have to make sure to keep them close. Okay, I think I’ve said more than enough to get me fired and/or dumped. Nice chatting, Mike.

THANKS KAT! YOU'RE CERTAINLY ONE OF THE GOOD PEOPLE. SEE YA AT HAPPY HOUR.